Saturday 16 July 2011

Predictions of A Mark: Cena over Punk? Oh dear god...

This weekend is more than likely, the most anticipated pay-per-view of 2011, because of one burning question... What the fuck is Punk gonna do? Win and leave? Win and re-sign? Win and the lose to the RAW Money In The Bank contract winner? Lose clean? Honestly, I think we all know that CM Punk is going to this as the number one good guy in the company. Cena, possibly going in as one of the more hated. But more on the main event later. I think as the new kid on the block, I need to throw my two cents in on the first non-Mania pay-per-view I've bought since 2006.

Our version of Stone Cold vs. The Rock? Source: WWE.com

Big Show vs. Mark Henry
Who I want to win: Mark Henry

Somebody gonna get their wig split. Honestly, I can see no real logical reason behind making Big Show look tremendously weak compared to Mizark, other than they are really preparing "The World's Strongest Man" for the big run that has been put in front of him, but never truly run with. I think it's time they pull the trigger on Henry, and a dominating win, leading into a Summerslam program with Randall Keith, is starting to look like the best way to go.

Kelly Kelly (c) vs. Brie Bella, Divas Championship
Who I want to win: Kelly Kelly

Only in WWE, can a bleach blond ex-cheerleader with the "model" figure & the pearl white smile, be the victim of bullying. Nowhere else would that work. I'd rather KK keep the belt here, because she's kind of the divas version of John Cena.

Smackdown! Money In The Bank
Who I want to win: Cody Rhodes

In honest opinion, this is the match with the most potential when it comes to Money In The Bank matches. The two things I want to see out of this match are as follows... 1) Daniel Bryan hitting his hesitation missile dropkick of the top of a ladder. 2) Heath Slater taking the High Cross off the top of a ladder. I will be more than happy with my $25 purchase if either thing happens. I really thinks Rhodes deserves to win this, refresh his character again, maybe give him another layer onto the "Dashing" character, and take a run at the title. Plus, Rhodes vs. Orton does really appeal to me.

RAW Money In The Bank
Who I want to win: Kofi Kingston

I really want Kingston to win this. I want Kingston to pull of some kind of amazing stunt, knock Alberto Del Rio off the top of the ladder, and grab that briefcase. You move Evan Bourne onto Dolph Ziggler after making him look like a million bucks by letting him leap off of everything and crash into everyone. Riley takes out Miz in some type of spectacular move, stretching their feud out until SummerSlam. R-Truth, Swagger and Rey fill out the rest of the match, and you get the lesser of the two Money In The Bank matches filled out quite nicely.

Randy Orton (c) vs. Christian, World Heavyweight Championship Match
Who I want to win: Randy Orton

Sorry Razor (Okay, I doubt Razor reads this... if you're reading this Razor, please address all abuse towards the comment section), but it's time that Randy ends this. Some type of awesome, out-of-nowhere variation of the RKO, after a pretty solid match, would be the perfect end to this program. A clean end, to stop Christian's complaints. Move Randy onto the next feud (hopefully with Mark Henry) and put Christian into a feud with Daniel Bryan after he's done with Cody Rhodes (Come on TH, imagine that feud.)

John Cena (c) vs. CM Punk, WWE Championship
Who I want to win: John Cena

Wow, am I digging my own grave? Orton into Cena for championship retention...

The only way this could work is doing a double-turn. CM Punk, waiting to pounce for the GTS after having his hometown crowd behind him the whole night, goes to hoist Cena up onto his shoulders, Cena will slip out the front, look Punk square in the eyes... and punt for goal. I want to Cena to punt CM Punk so hard below the belt, that for the next three weeks he becomes CP Munk. The Chicago crowd will be whipped into a frenzy, Cena will celebrate like he's just won the World Series, and CM Punk then truly has his Austin 3:16 moment. He is turned into the guy who is the anti-establishment bad ass, who could only be beaten when the good old kiss-ass of the company couldn't do it fair.

Hey, but what do I know, I'm just a mark. I'm sure we'll all be shocked and marking out come the main event this Sunday (Monday technically for me.)

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